I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize