I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
