You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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