I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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