He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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