but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize