hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm just crazy horny about you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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