I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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