im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
