i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize