ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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