Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
