he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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