What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
