Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
