Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Enjoy the penises
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
