So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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