jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
