I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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