I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
