Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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