He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
