I cannot find my penis.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
