you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
