got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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