Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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