for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
