3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
