saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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