Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
if only i could text you this smell
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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