Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
