I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
