well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
