the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
