I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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