I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
