So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
