This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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