This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
