dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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