Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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