yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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