dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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