Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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