I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
