So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
it's like iHOP with fire
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
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