you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
