Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize