i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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