Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
