Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
