I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
be right there i have to get my cape
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
