I cannot find my penis.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
