don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I've blown a few things in my day
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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