i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
