At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize