The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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