I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
